At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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