I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
