just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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