Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
