Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Someone came in the potted fern
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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