no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
