her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
