My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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