Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I enjoy the company of your penis
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