I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
