so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
