Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
