dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
