they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
