We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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