Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
