that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
