everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
