why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
