no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
