Just cropdusted the office
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
