Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
