Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
