I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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