i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
