shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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