yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
