my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
