he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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