Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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