We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
