this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
