I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woke up backwards on a recliner
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
