You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize