we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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