My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
