Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize