Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
