you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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