I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She's the barista slut.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
