Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
