I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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