just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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