I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
