mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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