just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
