i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize