Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Dicks are not precious.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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