we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize