I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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