Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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