I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
