Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
