it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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