how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
