and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
