i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
