Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
That accounts for only three of the penises
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize